What did the naughty little diamondback say to his big sister?
"Dont be such a rattle-tail!"
What does an exhibitionistic snake wear to the beach?
What's a picnic?
A snack in the grass.
What is a snake's favourite subject?
What does a boa constrictor use to make herself look prettier?
What kind of snake is completely different?
A Monty Python.
Snakeskin bite, but we'd rather run away.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow!
What did the snake say to Sylvester the Cat?
Nothing. He was sssspeechlesssss!
What do you call a snake without any clothes on?
Why is a snake so smart?
Because you can't pull its leg!
Why is a snake so careless?
Because it keeps losing its skin!
Hey Frank, are we venomous?
Why do you want to know?
'Cause I just bit my tongue!
What does a snake radio DJ say?
"Snake, rattle and roll!"
What does a well-dressed snake wear?
A boa tie!
What kind of snake keeps its car the cleanest?
A windshield viper!
What is a snake's favourite footwear?
Snakers, of course!
How do snakes show they love you?
They give you hugs and hisses!
What happens when a snake gets mad?
It throws a hissssssy-fit!
What is the most popular snake dialect?
What kind of snake can do math in the dark?
A night adder!
What kind of snake did Roger the shrubber (from Monty Python and the Holy Grail) use to help him round up some shrubbery?
What kind of snakes get to hug the bride at a wedding?
What do snakes do at the end of a date?
They give each other a goodnight hiss!
What kind of snake can cut a rug with the best of them?
A carpet python!
What snake do you bow to?
Who married the Kingsnake?
Well, the queensnake of course!
What prize was given for first place?
A blue ribbon snake!
What snake is a member of the band?
How can you revive a snake that looks dead?
With mouse-to-mouth resuscitation!
How did the snakes bust out of jail?
They scaled the wall!
What do snakes put on their kitchen floors?
How do you measure a snake?
In inches. They dont have any feet!
If you crossed a snake with a robin, what kind of bird would you get?
What did the cobra say to the flute player?
"Charmed to meet you!"
What would you get if you crossed a newborn snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa!
Why couldn't the female snake have any babies?
Because she'd had a hiss-terectomy!
What should a ghost yell if it wants to scare a snake?
Why do snakes go to free clinics?
They like the sliding scales!
Why can't snakes eat soup?
No spoon! They only have a forked tongue!
Why was the water moccasin suspended from the swim team?
He was failing Hiss-tory.
Why did the snake laugh so hard she started to cry?
She thought the joke was hiss-terical.
Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other sssssside.
Why didn't the snakes leave Noah's Ark and multiply like all the other animals?
They couldn't multiply! They were adders!
Why did the wife snake leave her husband at the party?
She though he was making an asp out of himself!
What kind of snake helps clean the dishes?
How do snakes cook pasta?
Heat until the water coils or comes to a slither!
(Boils of comes to a simmer.)
What do you get if you cross a snake with a builder?
A Boa Constructor!
Why do snakes squeeze their food?
Because they have no arms to hug it!
What is a sake's favourite song?
"Fangs For The Memories"
What is a snake's favorite dance?
Where do snakes go to have fun?
The boa-ling alley!
What clothing might sister snakes share?
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent!
What do you call a python with a great bedside manner?
A snake charmer!
what do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake!
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other!
What's a python's favourite pop group?
Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake?
What do you do if you find a poisonous snake in your toiler?
Wait till he's finished!
Why can't you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues!
What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set?
A boa constructor!
What do snakes write at the bottom of their letters?
With Love and Hisses!
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
What do you give a sick snake?
What did the python say to the viper?
I've got a crush on you!
where do frogs keep their money?
In a river bank!
What kind of bull doesn't have forns?
Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants?
They always want to play leap frog with him!
Why was the frog down in the mouth?
He was un hoppy!
Wy is a frog luckier than a cat?
Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times!
What's a toad's favourite ballet?
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups!
Why did the lizard go on a diet?
It weighed too much for its scales!
What do you call a lizard that sings?
If you have a good joke please send it in to us, Cheers!
Snakes and Ladders
Picture book activitys:
Snake - Colouring In Pictures
Frogs & Salamanders - Colouring In Pictures
Dinosaurs - Colouring In Pictures
Insect & Inverts - Colouring In Pictures
Numbers & Alpha - Dot to Dot
Turtle - Colouring In Pictures
Kids Animal Face Masks